Have you ever been walking down a busy sidewalk or through a crowded room and momentarily caught someone’s eye by accident? That brief second of eye contact is usually an odd thing to share with a complete stranger, and because of this we usually look away as quick as possible. There is something intimate about staring into someone’s eyes and when we accidentally do it both parties usually feel the awkwardness. Or sometimes, if you are tremendously unlucky and make eye contact with the wrong person, you might get beat up.
But if you are trying to connect with someone, looking them in the eye is a great place to start. I’m learning that if I really want my young daughters to hear what I’m saying I ask them to look me in the eye.
Studies show that making eye contact with young babies increased their sense of connection with their parents and leads to a better sense of well-being and less anxiety. (And by default, less crying, insecurity and separation panic when mom and dad have to leave the room for a second.)
It even works with pets. If you make eye contact with your cat at least once a day they are less likely to engage in attention getting behaviors like shredding your furniture or doing their business in odd areas of the house. Just a second of eye contact can save you that “kitty” smell in your house.
If the eyes are the “windows to the soul” (a phrase that has its origins in scripture) then it makes sense that staring straight into someone’s eyes creates an intimacy that can’t be matched any other way. And conversely, if someone never makes eye contact they are most often looked at in a suspect way. Retailers have a rule of thumb that if a suspicious customer will not make eye contact or even say hello to a salesman then they should be watched extra-carefully for shoplifting activities.
I’ve been a Jesus follower for a good portion of my life, but sometimes the simplest things still elude me. I know that if I start my morning by making eye contact with God (reading His word, praying for just a few minutes) then things go immeasurably better for the rest of the day. But too often I start the day by reading something else (like the recap of the previous night’s NBA playoff game) and miss out on a vital moment making eye contact with God.
As we are talking more and more about “calling” at Oasis, the question probably comes up in your mind time after time: “how do you hear from God?”
It’s perhaps the most basic question of faith, but I think the answer starts with being intentional. Trying to hear from God is the best first step in actually hearing from God. Making “eye contact” daily helps me get to know my daughters and my wife better (and for them to get to know me better) and a little time with the Lord in a quiet space helps me get to know Him better.
The Psalms talk about this over and over. David says “early in the morning will I call out to thee”. He was known as “a man after God’s own heart” (not by any stretch a perfect man, but one who “knew” God) and its my guess that time spent meditating on God’s word (pretty much the theme of the Bible’s longest chapter, Psalm 119) and making eye contact with God helped him through the craziness of God’s calling on his life.
It’s the nuts and bolts stuff of faith (the kind of stuff I need to be reminded of time and time again) that lead to the deeper life with the Lord that I desire, and it’s a joy to be in a small group and a congregation where I am continually reminded of what is important. If I try and be a loan wolf and do the Christian life on my own, the only thing that suffers is my own walk with God. It’s just how I’m wired. As a writer I can get lost in my own thoughts for days and forget to make eye contact with the divine. Its good to get together with other believes to collectively try to hear God’s calling and to be encouraged to make the time to try to hear it individually.
So may we all seek to make eye contact with God daily and encourage each other to make contact as well.
That beats reading about a basketball game any day.
