It's cold and still a little dark out when I go out to our porch and pull on my boots and jacket. My gloves are stiff when I put them on because I forgot to bring them inside last night to warm up.
I open the door and breath in the freezing air as I see the world around me slowly waking and coming to; the occasional car driving by, their headlights illuminating the light snow that is falling.
The big tree in our front yard is covered in Christmas lights and is a bright beacon in this snow covered world I find myself in.
I head to the ol' minivan and start the process of moving the snow in order to find and open the driver's side door.
I come out early to brush off and start the car so that my girls can have a warm ride to school, but this traipsing around in the snow is never really as fun as they seem to think it is.
Most mornings when I do this I like to play some Bob Marley on the van's stereo system as I attack the ice and snow that coats the vehicle. The Caribbean music reminds me that someplace it's warm. I also like to bring out my coffee with me and set the hot mug in the snow on top of the van and watch it steam in the air and melt a ring of snow around it.
But on this particular morning there won't be any Bob Marley on the radio or windshield defroster helping me clear the front window.
When I turn the key to start the whole process I hear nothing but a click and that soul crushing whining sound of a dead battery.
I look into the back seat of the van and see that one of my young daughters has left the light above her seat on, (the one that she can now reach and loves to turn on and off as we drive along) and that explains the dead battery.
So I sigh and start the process of getting the other car in position for jumper cables.
This also means that there is now another vehicle to clean off.
In the same way there are many times in life I feel my spiritual battery running low, unable to power my life in a way that brings any meaning or allows me to be bearable to those around me I love and cherish.
I've been going to Church all my life, and I know the language and customs well. I know how to appear (mostly) like I have it all together and figured out.
But the thing is that as I get older and life gets more complex, (relationships with my wife, daughters, friends, co-workers, bills, dead batteries, general fatigue of life etc.) my ability to conduct my life well under my own power is taking a hit.
The fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, self-discipline, gentleness, goodness, faith, longsuffering) are things I desperately want in my life, but as hard as I try, I can't summon up enough will power on my own to be a patient dad, a loving friend or self-disciplined person.
Here is the paradox of the whole situation: I was never meant to be able to conduct life on my own.
Jon just finished up a terrific, almost six month overview of the book of Romans called "The Great Exchange" in which the books writer, the apostle Paul explains that the Lord want to replace, to exchange the burdens we carry in this life for the joy and peace He has to offer.
Paul ends the book with these powerful words in chapter 16:
"Now all glory to God, who is able to make you strong, just as my Good News says."
This is basic faith 101, that it's the Lord's power that gives us the strength to run this race of life well. Running on our own power leaves dead batteries and cars that sit in the driveway.
The older I get, the more I need to remember the Sunday School lessons I once learned, it's all God, from the moment of Salvation (I was a thirteen year old kid on a Sunday morning who felt the Lord's call) to my final breath, the power to conduct this life well comes from God.
Maybe you are running under your own power and feeling the drain of life, maybe it's time to give it over to Him (a process we learn little by little, just like a toddler walking) and experience the "Great Exchange" of life lived with the power of a full battery.
May your fire burn brightly
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